As I go to Dragon*Con every year, and as this ultimately entails some exposure to Thomas' "Apple Pie" (a delectable beverage which tastes like apple pie, and hides LOTS of boozeahol), I have over the years devoted a considerable amount of my skills to collecting clues as to the contents of, and procedure for making, Apple Pie. This article details my results.

• 1 gallon jug of apple juice
• 1 cup honey
• 375 ml of PGA (750 ml for strong Pie)
• 1 tablespoon nutmeg
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon allspice
• 16 whole cloves

• A 2 gallon pot with a lid
• either a funnel and some cheesecloth,
  or a rubber hose.

1. Pour the apple juice into the pot, keep the jug.
2. Put the pot on the stove, turn the eye on medium.
3. When the pot is warm, add the spices and the 375 ml of PGA.
4. Stir in the honey (you have to stir, or it will sit on the bottom).
5. Cover the pot, and crank the eye up to high.
6. When the pot reaches a roiling boil, turn off the eye.
7. Let the pot cool until it is warm enough to touch.
8. If you want strong Pie, add another 375 ml.
9. You now have Pie, but it's got a lot of spices in it.

Now, to re-bottle your Pie (you kept the jug, right?). Your Pie has lots of nasty sediment in it. You have three options available for dealing with this:

1. Filter and bottle it.
2. Siphon and bottle it.
3. Just bottle it, and 'drink around it'.

If you are going to filter or siphon your Pie, let the sediment settle to the bottom of the pot (if you haven't touched it while it cooled, it should have already done this). For filtration, I suggest a big wad of cheese cloth stuffed into a funnel, though when you get to the serious spices, the cheese cloth will clog up. For siphoning, you need to put a tube into the pot, being careful to avoid the sediment on the bottom, and start the siphon into the Jug.

Your Pie is best cold. If you plan on drinking it soon, stick it in the fridge. You could also put your Pie in storage, as it will keep for a long time.